It was a time where work was hectic – or maybe one of the times. House kept getting messy – too messy to catch up on weekends
Hired a house-maid after a long search. She was appalled at the state of mess and cleaned house in 1 hr (While I continued to work).
That evening got a call from 2 streets away – ‘hey got to know that your house was too messy…..’
Well, that got me annoyed. It was not even few hours and the entire town now knows the state of my house and obviously they don’t know full story and would assume the worst – that I was lazy!
Grrr
Next day – she didn’t come – I called her number few times since I assumed she was working that day and waited for her – no response
On third day I called her and finally she picked the call and I asked ‘hey why didn’t you come, I assumed you would come and put tasks on hold and ended up staying late (r)’
Her response was not good (to be honest, my response was annoyed as well) and after just two exchanges she said something along the lines of ‘I won’t come or I quit’. She sounded both proud and not caring about work commitments at the same time
Sleep deprivation and sudden celebrity status (messy house keeper) combined together made me annoyed and I just said ‘fine’ and went about tackling workload and another long night.
That weekend someone ringed the door bell and went to answer that and she was standing there.
Something about the way she was there – I just could not ask her or question her on why she was here after being both – not consistent and rude and not to mention quitting. I realized quickly that she may need to work for financial reasons and hence was here and it didn’t make sense to bring up any discussion or arguments
I just quietly opened the door , she walked in and started cleaning – no discussion – no apologies – no small talk. Awkward as hell, but we proceeded as if we are part of the wall and didn’t care about the other persons presence.
I went back to my work – but was both concerned and confused
She was confident and proud women – so why was she here after quitting ??
Few minutes in she opened up but not much and said in one quick breath and walked away : ‘my husband took my entire last month earned money and drank it that day and when I questioned he started hitting me and fighting with me. My kid was also not focusing on studying so I was handling both and hence could not pick call or come that day’
I felt like someone hit me with a rock – again a confident women and a proud women. If she had a choice she wouldn’t have come after she said ‘I quit‘
And now I knew why.
However what I still couldn’t figure out was why she is enduring this?
By all factors, she was financially dependent and hardworking and confident and strong and proud – I was 100% sure, she had potential to lead an organization, if she had the right education at the right time – she exuded that much confidence – why is she putting up with this ?
Ah yes – she cannot be a broken family by separating from her husband and daring to stay alone
It is more culturally appropriate to spend lifetime with a drunk who does not contribute financially, or in any other way and as an additional bonus disrupts his kids education and more bonus – uses one month of his wife’s hard earned money in a single day – because that is a perfect family and of course not a broken family
I am sure most of you reading this are privileged atleast financially since you are probably reading this from a device with an internet connection
News flash – a perfect family is not defined by perfect formula of 2 adults and children
A family is not broken just because a women decided to stand up for her and her children’s life, safety and sanity.
As long as the family is nurturing and trauma free – it is a great family.
It is incredibly hard to digest when privileged members of the society keep advocating for women to stay with their abusers just to be part of a formula family count.
By advocating these thoughts and behaviors, underprivileged are the most impacted since they neither have means or voice or support to take a stand for their life
Let us choose to challenge the cultural norms and support women who stand up for themselves!