I was watching some Mom video and in the video before the mom crossed the street, she was explaining to her daughter that they have to look both sides and make sure no cars are rushing and then cross. She literally took few seconds and looked both ways and then crossed the road all the while explaining what she was doing to her daughter. While this seems quite normal to you, let me first tell you that the daughter was 8 months old .
Yes, that is correct.. Did you spit out that coffee you just sipped? I did the same too. I was like ‘pffft, she is explaining traffic rules to 8 months old baby – there is no way that would work.’
However, the seed was planted in my head and my curiosity was piqued . Over the next 3-4 days I kept going back to that video and slowly my reaction changed from ‘pfft, that never works’ to ‘why not, seems like a great idea’
That is how I started talking to my baby about what to do before crossing the roads / road safety. Consistency is key with kids and hence I choose the time and place where I know I won’t forget to do this – e.g. evening time and a specific crosswalk and said the same content everyday – every single day
- stop at crosswalk
- look both sides
- if no car , we are going to cross
- no running in parking lot or road because car cannot see us
Additionally if I see a car zoom by in low-speed zone, I would point and say ‘see that car just zoomed by, that is why we stay off the roads and stick to pedestrian walkway’
or ‘see the cars cannot see us because we are small, so we should not step on to the road for our safety’ or some similar flavors of the same message.
Soon it became a habit and I kept doing it only at that specific crosswalk. Months rolled by and we were talking a evening walk and was chatting with neighbors on side of road and a car was speeding towards us and my kid immediately looked at the neighbor and fervently signaled to him to hop on to walkway (k was not verbal at that point).
I was completely surprised, since until then my kid never showed any sign that whatever I was saying during crossing had made sense and would still try to dart in parking lots, but apparently my kid was listening and the message was sinking in – which means:: kids are always paying attention even if they do not give a favorable response.
Eventually the frequency of running in parking lots kept reducing.
While my kid still needs to be supervised ALL the time since kids have bad impulse control and if they are stimulated or see others running, they tend to forget everything and still run in parking lot, it was evident to me that kid was starting to comprehend that running in parking lots is unsafe.
Why did this work? Few concepts are at play here
- Breaking it down: Mastered to learner!!
We have mastered crossing the road, the steps mentioned above – we can do it in 2-3 seconds and just cross the road in a jiffy. To the brand new toddler, all they see is a adult darting across they road. They have absolutely no idea, that our eyes quickly scanned the road before we crossed.
Think about this well – again I repeat – we have mastered crossing and do it in 2 seconds and all the kids see is, us running across the road.
Solution:: pausing and explaining what we do, and doing it one step at a time helps a child learn and master the same skills . - Catch them young:
It is hard to correct a bad habit or a habit that is already formed, but if we educate ahead, kid is more likely to understand and will resist less. E.g. if kid is darting across the road and if you explain at that moment, kid is full of adrenaline and just wants to run and will be more resistant to your gyan and probably may have a meltdown as well.
Solution:: When you start the gyan ahead, when kid is calm and in listening mode, the message is better received and there will be less resistance. - Educative vs Restrictive
A toddler probably hears a 1000 “no’s” from their caregivers. As noted in point 2 above, when you catch them young, it becomes a education. As opposed to when you stop a running kid, it becomes a restrictive gyan causing more resistance. Now with pre-gyan, you can calmly stop a running child and say ‘hey remember we talked about this, cars are speeding and they cannot see us, hold hands and walk please?’ Or simply ‘we walk in parking lot’
Now don’t ask me if you should start talking to your baby in the belly about this 🙂
PS:
As noted above, kids needs to be supervised at all times especially in non-safe zones like roads, kitchen etc., even if they look like they got all the concepts right.