Find a day where your mental strain is super low and do this homework. Hold on, don’t start cursing me 🙂
Homework: Observe for a day and figure out what your child’s focused face is!
Every child’s focused face is different,
- Some have their tongue out – adorable right? Depending on how focused, sometimes, their entire tongue is on their cheek in super cute way.
- Tongue towards nose – even if there are boogers 😀
- Some pout their mouth
- Some are fully heads down
- Some have their nose in the activity – literally so focused that you cannot separate the face from the activity.
- And some do drool – and have no idea about it.
Ha – now I see you smiling – it is a adorable homework right?
Why is this important? It sets you up for success.
Remember the advance-notice methods and countdown methods? They only work, if you make it nearly successful every-time you use.
Let us say your kid is super busy – tongue is almost touching the ear – if you interrupt the child, chances are – your child DOES NOT EVEN HEAR IT.
And if you do interrupt them, then they are not going to LISTEN TO YOU.
And even if you give advance notice, and you gave enough time and then you pick the baby, there is a high probability your kid is going to have a huge meltdown.
Which is why yelling from far away that ‘we are going to bathe in 10 mins’ or ‘we have to go to car in 5 mins’ does not work and it creates a impression that kid is not listening. It also reduces the effectiveness of your request.
This feels like a you are hitting a road-block – How are you supposed to get to school in time (pre-and post-pandemic) if you have to wait for kid to finish their activity (play or work).
Don’t worry – there is a simple and effective way.
First observe if kid is having focused face. Assuming that it is necessity for your kid to break from the activity***, do this:
- Go near kid where you are at eye-level of kid. This may also help gently break their focus.
- Say “hey, I can see you are enjoying painting the wall (let us be real, what else are they doing with their tongue out :D), we need to leave in 10 mins, but you can come back in the evening and continue your painting. Here is a caddy to rest your supplies until then.”
- E.g. 2 – “ah you are enjoying your new toy right, so fun right. We need to eat now, why don’t you put it in X spot, come eat dinner in 10 mins – and then you can continue play.
you don’t have to put it away, don’t worry, place it in X spot, that way we don’t forget to play this after lunch “
This works wonders because
- You have caught your kids attention
- You acknowledge that they are enjoying/ focused on their activity.
- You give them option to continue their activity if they want to – remember depending on how young they are – they may not trust you the first time, but more often you do it, they start to trust you and this reduces separation anxiety from their favorite toy/activity. Subsequently they trust you and are more willing to put it away.
- And you still gave them enough time to part with their favorite toy in their entire life.
If it does not work the first time, be patient and keep at it. Remember they are BRAND NEW TODDLERS – just 365 or 730 days old
I know right? Tiny human beings – so young and yet rock our world that makes us forget how young they are.
PS:
*** if you want your child to develop independent play, try to reduce the number of interruptions on their focused play though – more on this later.