Fish cannot climb a tree! It is a fact. Which is why you don’t see anyone crying in a corner, sniffing into a tissue about it. No one ever gets upset about this!! Ever!!! okay maybe your toddler sometimes, but mostly no one.
When you learn about the regression phases, or kids milestones and have an inkling of what to expect at each regression, then this reduces the causes of stress by almost 95%.
Think about it, what is it that stresses you the most? What is one of your daily battles at home?
FOOD. Right, it was my major stresser too. Panicking when kid does not eat even a morsel! Constantly rejecting foods other than few favorites. There was so much emotion connected to how much and what my kid ate. And stress at meal times means stressed parent and child rest of the day too.
As you read more and more about milestone changes and its impact on child’s food habits, sleep habits, behavioral changes, etc., it really helps you be prepared.
You freak out less, force your kid less and let kid go through their changes and also help them go through it and support them.
When we are not equipped with these information and are bombarded and fed with incorrect info, we get upset a lot and it translates to a stressful environment. You do not even see it coming!
Once it translates to stress => more stress => more stressed baby => more rejections and more meltdowns
I will give few examples.
- when my kid had one of the first meltdowns at home, I was so surprised and actually laughed – because I had read about it, but did not expect my baby to suddenly grow up so fast and it took me by surprise
reaction from my baby – more surprise and super short meltdown. It was not because I was laughing or ignoring my kid. It was because, since I laughed suddenly, I was more relaxed and did not catch onto the stress we are bound to have when kids have meltdown. (Caution: that does not mean laughter can solve meltdown – distraction is not always a good technique once your baby transitions to toddler) - Yearly regression impact on food:
Friend: how is your kid eating habits?
me: k is doing good.
F: What? Is k eating food and veggies?
me: Ummm no, k hates veggies, and rejects most of what I cook and eats only few morsels.
F: (Weird look 🙂 checks to see if I am alright :D)
Why? Since I said k is doing well, I swear she thought there is something seriously wrong with me.
Why did I say that ? Because I have read about 1y regression. And talked to pediatrician about it, looked online and read more, TW group info, other respectful parenting groups/blogs etc. Almost everywhere I looked, everyone I talked to, it supported the theory that kids eat less around 1y mark and similar milestones.
Since my kid was following that pattern, while I was initially upset, once I learnt about it, my mind was at peace and I was very calm and it overwrote my outlook on my kids eating habits: “Kid is doing well, we are fine”
instead of the stressful “my kid never eats, kid is rejecting food”
Hence knowing about your child regression phases helps a lot to be prepared, it is solving half the battle. Don’t worry, you do not have to read huge volumes, just a simple search on google or authorized milestone websites or parenting blogs/groups will get you wealth of information. When in doubt hit the search button or post your own questions.
Remember a Fish cannot climb a tree! Stop being upset about it.