I am sure the scenarios listed here are something every parent/caregiver can relate to.
Scenario 1:
You buy a stacker and place it eagerly in front of your baby and you baby throws the rings out or arranges in different order – puts it on head – does everything other than stack in right order.
You try to show it how it is supposed to be stacked and your baby / toddler becomes like hulk and pushes it away and goes back to doing it differently.
You get a shape sorter -> similar result.
You get a cup stacker – don’t even get me started.
You buy the most-talked-about-toy-in-the-world – same results.
And that cardboard box gets all the love instead.
In most of the scenarios we start to get impatient to show the child how to use the toy. The child gets impatient because we are not allowing child to use it the way child wants. I know this because I have been that mom trying repeatedly to show how things actually work.
Scenario 2:
Another key contributor to parents frustration – babies/toddlers trying to mess up your organized arrangement of toys!! or throwing things!!! or emptying containers!!!!
Dumping everything into heaps!!!!!
Need I say more?
I distinctly remember once, where, after I put every toy back in place, my toddler would nod in disapproval, get up, gather all tiny toys and go and dump it into a spot.
I would repeat ‘dear, I am going to clean it up and put it back’ and pick them up and put them back.
This would totally upset my toddler, and my toddler would cry or whine or show further disapproval and run to gather toys again and dump it into the same spot. Further attempts at clean up would just end up in meltdowns.
I really wish I had known about schemas before this happened and this would have reduced so much meltdown and frustration for both me and my child. Yes – Knowing about schemas helps both parents/caregivers and child.
Schema – in simple terms as per my understanding – is a phase a child is in particular moment or time – where the child is mastering a specific skill – by doing it repeatedly. The moment may last few minutes or few days.
I am not an expert in this topic and the above lines are my understanding – please read about it further to get good info -, but just knowing about it at a high level, helped changed my perspective completely on how my toddler mind works, and how I can stop interfering while my child is mastering a specific skill.
Easy example – in Scenario 2 – my kid was in transporting schema – where the primary mastering of skill is – gathering items together in a box or trolley or any container (even hands full of toys) and dumping it in another spot. For them that is an organized spot – even though it is messy in our eyes
When I kept trying to clean it up, it really upsets the child because I was interfering with the child’s mastering the skill. It is annoying – as annoying it is for us when someone disrupts our work – or deletes our work (remember the old machines which loses our work when powers goes out?)
Some other examples:
Trajectory schema – an answer to the puzzle on why your kid is constantly throwing and cannot stop throwing – whatever you do.
Enveloping – hiding in a box, putting things in a box
positioning – arranging thing in particular order
- Once you know the basics and start observing them, you can easily identify they are in specific schema in a period of time (2 days or 1 week or just 1 hour) and do your toy rotation accordingly to suit that particular interest.
- Now you know why your kid is doing things repeatedly – your child is mastering the skill – because I am sure someone will worry you saying ‘hey why is your kid doing it so many times, it is weird’ – Oh yes, I am sure, someone will say that.
- Another important benefit, you now know why your kid is doing certain things that makes no sense to you and find redirection activities to satiate your child’s skill development.
E.g.1. Trajectory schema – if your kid is constantly throwing everyday items and ends up breaking things (like plates, food etc.), you can easily redirect by providing plenty of opportunity to help him/her master her throwing skills and use appropriate language to go with it. (Dear, food is for eating, ball is for throwing)
– balls + basket
– pompoms + container for it
E.g.2. Enveloping schema – if your kid is constantly pulling tissues out of tissue box, you can give a DIY coin box or tissue box with cloth pieces – for kid to put in and take out and save your box of tissues by taking it away.
Now, I always leave a cardboard box around – so my kid can climb in whenever enveloping schema peaks – which apparently strikes toddlers often.
PS:
I know this post is content heavy, let me know if you need to discuss any specific topic at length and I can elaborate that in more detail.