We were late again and my kid K refused to step down the stairs or let me carry. I was getting stressed, I could feel the stress creeping up my forehead and onto my shoulders and back. K was getting annoyed, we were getting nowhere with any amount of persuasion.
I was desperate and I racked my brains and came up with nothing.
Finally just sang some song – I made up the lyrics and said something like ‘We are getting down the stairs today, to-day, to-to-to-today. Who is coming down the stairs??, is it k? No, who is coming down the stairs, is it mom? YEY…’
K cracked up laughing and forgot to be annoyed. After giggling for sometime, forgot about refusal to come down – and started stepping down the stairs. I started smiling, scoped up k and left.
Distraction is one of the techniques to diffuse a situation or a stand-off with a toddler. It is especially useful if you do not have set a firm limit and just need to get a work done. Singing a silly song is one of the best forms of distraction. One of the main reasons being, you can pass on the message that you want to say to your toddler in a funny way – without forcing them or intimidating them.
My favorite silly song so far has to been – ‘ah ah R-E-M-O remove remove’ hee hee – yes it is the song from Anniyan 🙂 – to encourage removing sandals or shoes by self.
Have you ever wondered why silly song helps relax a kid? It is little cryptic to understand, but let me break it down for you.
Since you are scripting, composing and singing a silly song, it invokes the creative part of your brain. When your brain is busy creating, it relaxes you and reduces your stress. When you are no longer stressed, your kid catches on to your creative and relaxed vibes and starts relaxing too.
That is the basic principle behind distraction technique. It first helps you relax and in turn helps the kid relax.
Always remember this – your kid catches on to your vibes – hence if you are stressed, try a distraction technique that works for both of you, not just your kid.
Key rule of thumb: If everything seems to be going downhill, there is complete meltdown and nothing is going well, stop that activity and do something else (distraction) to relax everyone and come back to that activity. This is true, when you are trying to do ‘transition’ activities like, putting your kid to bed, bath time, getting kid out the door etc.
PS:
- This works for babies and toddlers.
- Use distraction technique ONLY when you do not have to set a limit.
- E.g. if a kid is asking for phone or something else you do not want to give, and kid is crying, avoid using distraction technique, because here you are setting a limit. Instead hug the child or pacify the child saying ‘I know you are upset, but you <can do only this> or you <cannot do this>
- Yes of course, you can use existing songs and do not always have to create a new one, but make it funny while singing though and keep it close to task at hand.
PS to myself:
oh dear, I honestly just realized as I am drafting this. I totally forgot about the neighbors when doing silly songs. Oh no!!! Oh no no no no no!!!