It is so easy to say ‘become a Yes mom and be cool’, but quite overwhelming when you do not know where to start or how to let go of our inhibitions and fears. I am still a helicopter mom and on my way to becoming a ‘Yes Mom’, so I know this journey is not easy. Hence sharing my experience with one tool – cleaning with dustpan and broomstick.
The reason for this very specific example is – it is not easy to change our mindset with this tool since it has dirt, but at the same time this is a toddlers favorite activity.
Sharing this in the hopes this helps you!
Why cleaning?
In case you are wondering why toddler is allowed to clean when they make more mess, the simpler answer is it helps with
– the development
– sensory play
– and keeps them occupied.
If you watch closely
– one day your toddler is swinging the broom like a paintbrush spreading the mess all over the floor.
– much much later – a lot later – nope wait – patience – hold on – yes maybe now – the toddlers gross and fine-motor-skills has developed so much, that they can actually get a grain of dust onto the dustpan.
Of-course such milestones are not as well known and celebrated as much like a toddler starting to crawl or walk or talk, but it is a development to marvel nonetheless.
Ahem!
Now please do not assume magical life like – my toddler is always cleaning house and keeping it spick and span!!
Come on guys, they are toddlers, they love playing and they love playing. That is it!
Allowing them to ‘play’ cleaning game just helps our life better and their life so much better. One less reason for meltdown and one step further to independent life (Or not :)) !!! Remember it is not the outcome, it is the journey – a happy toddler – that matters.
Quick Tip!
Psst!!, if you need a longer me-time, few onion skins on floor + plus a broom and dust-pan will work wonders with a toddler.
Troubleshooting / transition of broomstick and dustpan:
| No: | Challenge / Inhibition/ fear | Solution |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Broom has dirt/ germs and can have health impacts if kid bites it or puts it in mouth | – Waited till kids stopped frequent mouthing – started when kid had infrequent mouthing, washed hands after using broom |
| 2 | Broom handle is long and can hurt kid or cause kid to lose balance or fall down | – Switched to small broom – kept older broom for non-kid use – other options – cut down length or remove extra length if possible |
| 3 | Broom is still dirty | – Got a broom that can be cleaned easily after messy use |
| 4 | Kid wants to use the broom – does not know how to use it and simply waves it around like a magic wand 😀 no chance for me to model how to use broom | – Got another exact same broom for myself |
| 5 | Kid grabs my broom | – set limits, gently say ‘hey that is my broom, use yours’ or ‘hmm if you are using this, let me use the other one’ |
| 6 | Kid makes more mess than cleaning | – Deep breaths and patience. Kids skills are still developing and takes more than a year or two to master cleaning |
| 7 | Kid makes more mess than cleaning | – cleaned only small spills in front of kid – that way, mess is less. – planned regular cleaning when kid is asleep or away |
| 8 | Kid gets upset if you clean | – Deep breaths and patience. Kid is anxious and stressed of losing chance to practice their skills. – Leave the small spill and let kid clean it or wait for kid to have a chance at cleaning and exhausting it, before you clean. |
| 10 | Kid leaves a trail of trash behind when taking dustpan to trash can 😀 | – Deep breaths and patience. Again stick to small spills cleaning so that rework is less. – With a calm voice say ‘oh, there is trash behind you, can we clean that up’ – Or say ‘can you hold dustpan in tilted way so it does not fall down?’ |
| 11 | Kid leaves dustpan behind | – put hooks at kid level – put your broom/dustpan in the hook after cleaning. – kid would model eventually. |
| 12 | Kid still leaves dustpan everywhere else | – Deep breaths and patience. – They always have weird schema learning thing going on. Hence want to “organize it” (:)) in their own way. – we sometimes find dustpan on the vacuum cleaner – probably kids way of keeping cleaning supplies together. |
| 13 | Kid does not clean up after themselves though | – It is normal for toddlers to show interest in cleaning, but refuse to clean when they are asked to. – just say ‘oh you are not able to clean now, okay let me help you clean’, I do not wait for my toddler to join, but start cleaning myself. |