This was pre-covid – well before that. When a family member passed away, we were distraught and we went through it the first few days the hard way. I don’t have to explain that in detail. In short, our life was on hold while we processed what was happening. We neglected many of the basic necessities like sleep, food etc.
However, after few days, there were some rituals that immediate family members have to do. And weirdly during these rituals, there were few giggles, burst of giggles, and the change in environment was very visible. We were no longer crying non-stop, some of us had good appetite and ate food and some played.
I realized at that moment that some of these rituals have a purpose and they provide a passage for family to deal a loss through different stages.
Unfortunately now, the situation is lot different. We are in isolation, restriction of movement, not met family or friends for a long time and living through a pandemic and constantly in anxiety or stress.
More unfortunately for some, pandemic is one of the problem and many have to deal with other severe problems during pandemic, pre-pandemic and post-pandemic. That can put further strain on emotional health.
Like a patronus that can be invoked only by happy memory, some of us need these little moments of reminders of joy to keep moving forward
Here are some ways to deal with the stress:
- Sun exposure or fresh air:
- lack of fresh air and sun exposure, can cause some vitamin deficiencies – which can in-turn impact physical or emotional health. Even 10 mins in sun can help.
- Talking:
- even an introvert, finds so much comfort in connecting with a friend and hash out things. Reach out to someone whom you know is in pain, and you don’t have to talk or keep in conversation. Just lend an ear. If they are ready to talk & listen, if not, just be there.
- just knowing that there is someone who thought of them and reached out to them, can mean a lot to some. It can make their day. and can avoid feeling so frightfully alone.
- Music:
- this works both ways, it can be nostalgic and bring tears, or take you back to a moment and remind you to smile. Choose something that is soothing or something that can make you move and help you temporarily transport yourself into another world.
- Habit changes:
- Depending on what you can let go safely, it is okay if you find yourself, cutting some slack on habits like – food, spending habits etc.
- However watch out of unsafe addictive habits as they take more time to recover and have longer impact.
- Please reach out to an accountability partner or licensed folks like doctors, if you are having a rough time battling this alone. Please do not hesitate.
- Do make a conscious decision on which habit you are going to break and indulge on to help you recover.
- Cut out negativity
- this is such a rough time to allocate any time to this.
- However due to pandemic and isolation, our mind tends to self-reflect a lot and it can be quite hard to let go of the emotions.
- Avoid projecting on little humans
- Again this can be quite hard considering lack of support that many of us are going through, but as much as possible, let things go of things within limits. Choose walking away from a room to help things cool down. or use countdown.
- Be vulnerable.
- It is a tough love culture to put on brave face in front of kids and others – we can change that culture. Kids are more empathetic and resilient and it is okay to breakdown in front of them and let them in. Let them know you are going through rough time and need their help and support during this time.
- Cut lot of slack
- Change your rules, ways of working and be kind to yourself.
- Consider time-off
- Yes, this can be quite a privileged option, however if you do have that option, consider taking time off.
- Change of location
- if things are quite hard at home, see if it is possible to move to family, or friends house.
It will feel surreal to watch rest of the world move on while you are in so much pain – like you are in a movie box stuck watching the rest of the world go by, but this is a gap year, this is not going to stay, it is going to pass.
Please reach out to anyone if you need to talk or vent or cry. Anything to get that weighing block off your chest.
PS: Journalling has proven benefits when it comes to emotional health. Recommend to write your thoughts out in paper or on laptop. it can give you some relief from the thoughts that is crowding your brain.