One of the things that parents stress out is shopping in real world with a toddler… For a long time I was terrified of going out alone with my kid since I did not know if I can handle it. However recently I had started doing this and now I enjoy these trips with my kid. That does not mean all my trips are smooth and there are no hiccups – it just means that whatever happens I am more prepared to handle it than before. This did not come in one day, it took multiple trips to ramp myself up on the tips and tricks on how to make shopping with a toddler a enjoyable experience for both. Heck I am still learning…
Choose the right time
Kids can get over-stimulated when presented with sudden influx of people/ lights/ noise etc. This can lead to disasters when combined with wrong timing. Plan outing during times when kids are not hungry or tired – avoid late evenings when kids are mostly worn out and need space to wind down. It might require couple of trips to find out what time works best for you and tune it accordingly.
E.g.
A kid who just woke up from nap may be well rested and hence will be enjoy shopping with you
OR
A kid who just woke up from nap would have bundle of energy and would hate to be tied up in the shopping cart and would want to run around the shop
OR
A kid who just woke up from nap may be grumpy since they got that headache from the afternoon nap (you know what that is 🙂 ) and all they want is to go back to familiar settings and relax.
You get the drift, the same kid may have different response and you have to listen to the cues to understand if it is the right time to step out. There have been times where I have cancelled my trips since I know it will be messy for both me and my kid. There have also been times where I got us ready in 10 mins and stepped out since I knew that trip outside would do both of us good.
Once you start going out, you will find the rhythm that works for both you and your kid and will know how best to schedule your trips.
Be prepared to rock and roll
Pack toddler essentials shopping kit. This will keep them occupied well in case while you are reevaluating your buying decision for the 100th time.
- Keeping tummy happy:
- snacks
- water
- food etc.
- Provide a shopping list that they can mark off. Depending on the age of your kid you can prepare a shopping list
- for young toddlers – a laminated list with pictures or
- for older kids – an actual list that they can mark off.
- Get an item that you had intended to get for them and give that first to your child. However be careful not to set this as an expectation that kid will get some gift for every trip
- Pack diaper essentials too based on age and need of your kid.
Engage the kid
Have you ever been in a situation where you plan a outing with a friend and they are moody and are completely stonewalling you and you are super bored and want to get out of there? It is exactly the same way for the kid to be tied up in cart while casually shop. They are bored and they want out!!!
Engage with your kid, they are humans after all and don’t deserve to be ignored:
- talk to them on what you are doing, or point to items in the shop and talk about them – ‘Did you see that fruit – it looks colorful doesn’t it, should we try it?’
- Distraction with new items – or show some interesting item – you can exaggerate and make any thing interesting with voice modulations- e.g. ‘hey look at that door – look look , what is that’
- Ask them to hold the bags for you while you load vegetables
- Ask them to put items in cart (you may want to add ‘gently’).
- Pass on the items through the kid to the cashier – this works wonders since they feel super important and happily do it with puffed out chest 🙂 🙂 like give grocery item to kid and ask kid to give to cashier. Key here is keeping them engaged
- give them something to work on if they are in cart (not sure if you have usual carts in apparel stores, if not have stroller) where kid can sit and keep engaged or a snack to munch on
Set clear limits
Your kid needs to burn their energy. It is hard to expect them to sit still for an hour. However you can set clear limits. If kid wants to run around in the shop you have several choices – choose what works best for you: Be polite, Be consistent though – otherwise it is confusing for the kid since they are not clear what to expect from you
- take them to an aisle that has less or no people around and let you toddler run around or push the cart or stroller and come to crowded area once kid is back in cart seat OR
- Set clear limits that shop is not a play ground. Offer them alternate options though – e.g. ‘hey this is not playground, if you sit, we can go to park after this and you can run around in the park.’ OR
- Go to park first and then go to shop (again like the nap example above, a tired toddler may backfire – so do test runs to determine what works for you)
- If they shout, remind them to lower their voice
- If they are inconsolable and it is stressing you out, exit the shop if possible and take the kid outside (remember to leave the cart or unpaid items behind) – a breadth of fresh air may calm both you and your kid. Come back once the kid is relaxed.
Be compassionate
Have the knowledge that sometimes it takes a emotional toll on kids and hence they act out – hence there is nothing you can do sometimes other than let it pass out or play it out. It is hard for both you and the kids during these situations.
Checkout counters for some reason freak kids out – maybe narrow path or the stranger/cashier or the fact that they can sense that the trip or fun is over? – I am not sure but I have seen and heard this multiple times from other mom’s experience.
Hence you can try the engagement thing when you reach checkout counter.
Or give a paper card – something that looks similar to credit card (this can backfire though – since kid may start asking your credit card – so use this approach with caution) as if you are asking them to checkout.
Or talk to them and prepare them ahead by saying things like ‘wow look we got all we need, what is next? that is right, let us go pay for them’
Everyone has been there
If you feel that people are staring at you, know that they are just looking at you in solidarity and ways to help. If they are actually judging you, they don’t deserve a moment of your thought anyway, so ignore the rest of the world and move on. It does not mean that you do not care about them, but you have done everything within your reach and somethings are not in your control. Accept that and the stress will reduce. The less stressed you are, the more easier it is to calm an upset toddler.
Our world has become so self-sufficient, we would rather struggle on our own than ask for help – which is so weird. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if it gets unmanageable.
I would honestly try to help another mom with crying kid, if not worried that people might think i am intruding or passing on my germs 🙂 🙂 so if you see a mom juggling with a crying toddler, items in her hand and trying to keep it together, lend a helping hand, say hello and smile !
And you who is reading this, Yes you!!! Put a shopping list & kit together and get ready in a jiffy and head out right now, trust me you will enjoy it!!!