In the earlier post, I touched upon about discussions around calling someone as lucky as unhelpful. Here I want to touch upon why it is unproductive to the speaker as much as the receiver.
One of the key reasons why we should change this mindset is – the moment we think that someone is lucky and hence they have an privilege, we stop fighting for that privilege
We are stopping our own growth!
Nothing comes handed in a plate –
yes, I am aware of ‘rich’ and millionaires and celebrity life and other privileges, however their challenges are different and hard-work comes in different forms. Easy example, for a rich celebrity, hard-work is putting up with flashing cameras and stalking paparazzi’s and a lot more struggles that we don’t have visibility into and we turn our blind eye to – but it is still hard-work – which many of us cannot imagine putting ourselves through.
Point is – everyone works hard – in their own way – to suit their skills, their life, their choices and their privileges. Our privileges and our skills are different and our views of hard-work is different.
Due to that blind spot and bias, it is easy to equate other’s perceived success to be result of luck.
And the minute we call it a luck, we put an end to our own growth. We stop seeing that we can reach any potential if we put our mind to it. We stop seeing the blockers on our way and accept and normalize the blockers because ‘we are not lucky’. Is it easy, no, definitely not? but, it is possible if we focus on ourselves and not dismiss anything based on luck.
One of the main principles of Montessori is the language used to communicate with toddlers & kids and how it can impact the outcome. This is also now extending to productivity networks and empowerment topics – e.g. stop using should word, stop using words like plant-killer.
What can we say instead?
‘It is good that this is working for you!’, ‘ I am glad to see this working for you, maybe I will try it sometime’ , ‘that is a good approach’.
I will end with this –
Every-time we focus on someone else privilege, we stop focusing on our growth
PS:
Yes. I am painfully aware of privilege and lot of atrocities that happen around the world that people don’t have full control over. This post is mainly on items that we have control over.